Summary
There’s a video I made five years ago that keeps coming back to me. In this video, I revisit that old footage and reflect on what my younger self understood that my current self is trying to remember.
Vlogging has always been my way of leaving breadcrumbs for myself. When you capture yourself on camera, you’re creating a record of who you were: your beliefs, your identity, your state of being. And sometimes those old versions of you hold exactly the wisdom you need right now.
After years of developing shame around creative expression from relationships, business positioning, and the pressure to perform, I’m in a stage of life where I’m trying to shed those fears of being seen again. In my earlier 20s, after a spiritual awakening, I didn’t care. I made whatever I wanted and lived in an authenticity that my 28-year-old self is now studying and trying to re-access.
The core wisdom from that younger version of me: “Nobody cares, so just be yourself.” Not in a nihilistic way, but as freedom. When you live authentically, the right people find you naturally. Your authenticity becomes a filter for what you allow and attract into your experience. Everyone who isn’t on your frequency falls off, and the people who are show up that much faster.
At 28, I recognize there’s a balance and discernment needed with that idea, especially as a content creator with real responsibility. But in this season of shadow work and healing, that voice from my past self is exactly what I need to hear. This video is an invitation to study your own past versions, to let your younger self mentor your present self, and to remember who you are underneath all the layers you’ve built up.
Full Transcript
There’s a video that I made five years ago that just keeps screaming in my face. The wisdom of my younger self is something I feel like it’s just really important for me to revisit in my time right now.
Logging has always been a very powerful way for me to capture different versions of myself to study and to have conversations within my past, present, and future consciousnesses. When you can watch yourself on a camera it’s basically you being able to study old versions of yourself, their identities, their belief systems, their state of beings, and sometimes I find it very helpful to have these breadcrumbs to who you are as a person.
I’ve been healing my creativity and I’ve been trying to find my way back to my creative self. After developing so much shame around my creative expression from relationships, from going into business and having to position myself in a certain way, from so many different things, I’m in a stage in my life right now where I’m really trying to shed those limitations or shed those fears of being seen again.
And when I was younger, like I mean I used to have really big insecurities and didn’t want to be seen. I’m a big introvert but then there was a point in my life in my earlier 20s, I’m 28 now, but in my earlier 20s where I had a spiritual awakening basically and I didn’t give a shit. Like I just made content about whatever I wanted to make content about and I was enjoying my life and this version of me that I’m about to show you in a second was just living in that authenticity in a way that my current self is trying to learn from, is trying to just study and remember and take that old version of myself’s wisdom in my present moment now.
I want to share this meditation with YouTube for whoever watches because this video is forever a voice in my head that constantly fights against my current level of anxiety and self-judgment and self-criticism. This old version of me I would say is my current version of myself’s mentor.
There’s so much wisdom that you can learn from your past versions if you vlog or if you capture yourself in this way and I love that I’m getting back into YouTube with this intention again and this openness to just talk and create how I feel like creating moment to moment and to be detached from the outcome. And I have this old video and this past version of me to thank for that and as helpful as it’s been for me I hope it can also be helpful for you whoever’s watching and who may be struggling with finding your authenticity or experiencing a lot of perfectionism or anxiety in your life. I hear you I see you and I am navigating through that myself as well right now but I think this past version of me may have a few words that could help us all. So here he is.
[Past self, five years ago]
Sitting by myself thinking and one of the secrets to life and yeah, when I think I’m like thinking about the secrets to life. And one of the most freeing things to realize is that nobody cares. And depending on a person’s consciousness that can be seen as negative, like oh nobody cares about me. Or it could be seen as nobody cares so I’ll just do whatever I want. I’m just gonna be myself because nobody really cares.
I found when I’ve lived with that mentality that nobody cares so I’ll just be myself, whatever that means. When I do find the people that actually care, well that’s just that much more great.
I feel like my stories are a reflection of this, like I post so many different types and versions of me on here because nobody cares and I know that people skip through. But it’s the people that watch them all the way through. You’re my friends. You’re living in your authenticity.
Your authenticity becomes a filter for what you allow and what you attract into your experience. Everyone who isn’t on your vibration and who isn’t on your frequency, this falls off naturally. It’s a lot of physics, it’s science. And the people who are on your vibration, you attract that much more quickly. It removes the process of trivialities, it removes all the like prospecting when you get to know different types of people. You just immediately manifest those who you vibe with.
Yep. Yeah. Nobody cares.
[Back to present]
At 28 and in the nature of what I do as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, and somebody who is putting myself out there online, I do think that there is a balance to that knowledge and that wisdom. I think there is a tremendous amount of care and responsibility that we have as content creators, or that I have as a content creator anyway.
When I put myself out there, the stories that I tell as I journey back into being a content creator again, there’s a balance and a discernment with that idea of nobody cares. But I think where I’m at in my life right now and like this kind of internal shadow work I’m getting a lot of shadow, that’s what the term for this. I’ve been doing a lot of shadow work lately. That voice is very helpful right now.
And I’m curious to know if you like this video, what did you like about it? And what are some topics that you guys would like to hear more about? Or if you guys have any questions, I have a place where you can ask me anonymous questions and my link, or you can just write them down in the comments.
I really want this YouTube channel to be a platform to connect and to be forever curious lifelong learners where we ask each other questions and get to more of the root of why we are the way we are and how we can grow and go from there.
So anyway, thank you for watching. Hope you have a beautiful day. I hope it was helpful for you guys too. I love you like I love myself and I’ll see you in the next video, whatever that is.