I had to learn this the hard way.
For the past five years I focused on my career as a marketer, entrepreneur, investor. Copywriting, offer building, all of it.
I succeeded financially but I lost a part of my soul.
I shut myself out from my art.
I was still doing creative gigs, but it was for a monetary outcome.
Not for the sake of creation.
Then I decided to “get serious” and basically put that creative side of myself in a box.
That killed me for years.. and eventually led me to a breaking point.
I had a dream one night that stood out to me.
Every person in it was staring at me; pointing every negative voice in my head, directly at me.
But there was a voice underneath all the noise asking: why are you so harsh on yourself?
~ Akino
Full Transcript
I got this mic from Amazon for like 10 bucks and I put the DJI microphone on it. Does something interesting to my energy — I feel professional. I feel like I’m the guy. We all know that you’re not the guy.
So I had a shower thought today. I have a notepad in the shower. As I go back into the YouTube space, as I heal my creativity, I thought it’d be cool to share my journey of movement — dance, parkour — and running back into my content.
For the past five years, as I focused more on my career as a marketer, entrepreneur, investor — I lost connection to a lot of my creative passion. I want to revive those things. It’s really important for my soul. Movement is a practice that for the past 17 years taught me how to study my consciousness from an outside perspective and through a different lens. My exploration of these art forms was more so for personal development, self-study, self-expression, and self-analysis — not to go viral.
What triggered this was a number of things. One of the projects I’m working on — with my friends who are dancers, a crew called Hybrid Stance Crew — they realized it’s actually a really cool opportunity for me to re-explore my art and combine those two realms of art and business. It’s valuable to immerse myself back into the craft so I can understand the mindset of a dancer again, because I feel like I’ve lost so much touch with that side of myself.
I’ve been a dancer for 17 years. I used to dance with the Jabbawockeez — America’s Best Dance Crew season one winners. Over the past few years I would do creative gigs — that’s how I expressed my artistry — but it was more for a monetary outcome. One time we choreographed a show for Segway. One time I was C3PO and got flown out to Wyoming for a Jewish party.
Before I started doing marketing, copywriting, offer building, entrepreneurial stuff — I was very much a creative. I professionally danced. I professionally did parkour. I performed. But what I really want to invite back into my life is creating for the sake of creation again.
Even though I’ve been a dancer for 17 years, I really want to go back into being a student again. I want to take classes. I want to do private lessons. I want to nurture my creative spirit and feel open and safe to share the journey.
There are three things I’m thinking about: I want to share my dance, my movement, my parkour. I want to share that journey and the things I learned from art — because it’s hard to find content from people who are autodidacts, who have multiple interests. I want to share the lessons from art and how that correlates to business and vice versa. Everything is connected. The way you design your lifestyle is connected to the root of who you are. You dance how you live. You move how you live.
I was talking with my therapist the other day. I was telling him how it got really hard for me to turn on the camera — 19 years of being a content creator, fears of being seen, a brand going in a direction that didn’t make me feel fulfilled. All this pressure to create in a certain way to get a certain monetary result. After talking with him, he gave me a challenge: “Just turn on the camera and just talk. Don’t worry.” Simple. But sometimes that’s why therapy is helpful.
Another reason I wanted to do this: I’ve always felt disconnected. I just never really belonged in any community. Always introverted, always shy going out into dance communities, always felt imposter syndrome because I didn’t pursue dance with the same ambition as most others. I love doing so many things that it’s hard to feel like I belong in any particular area.
I’m also building an app — with GPT and AI teaching me how to code in Xcode. I really want to make an app for freestyle dancers that makes it easier to record rounds. It’s a very niche problem in the dance community. Something I really want to exist. So as I give love back to the craft, as I take classes and evolve my voice as a dancer and creator — I’m simultaneously learning the market. Finding problems to solve, to create something that can help dancers express themselves with less friction.
I made a really big mistake — the past five years shutting myself out from my art while succeeding financially. I lost a lot of my soul. This YouTube channel, content creation, making this app — these are psychological steps back towards my authenticity. These are the projects that bring me joy. The projects that make me excited to live and to create. And they also make me a little scared to talk about.
Last night I had a dream. I was in a house and every character represented a voice in my head that is mean to me — “you’re not good enough,” “you look like a little kid, no one’s gonna take you seriously,” “your art’s no good, no one’s gonna care.” Every single person represented a limiting belief. There’s a point where I’m sitting down and all these voices are screaming louder and louder, and then I realized: this is a dream. This is a lesson. And there was a voice underneath it all: Why are you so harsh on yourself, Perris?
I’ve gone through phases — deep insecurities and fears of being seen, and then what I call my free spirit era, from about 18 to 2023, where I was traveling the world and didn’t really give a shit about what other people thought. I felt confident. I felt in tune with my soul. And then I lost myself again in business. Now I’m in the phase where I’m trying to find my authenticity again. And I am finding it — with every video.
That dream was the catalyst. Fuck all those voices. Let’s try this.
These videos are basically just conversations with myself. Thank you for watching. I love you guys like I love myself.